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Pink super mom logo2/24/2023 When they operated on her, they thought they took plenty of the necessary tissue. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at 73. More than two years later, tears still stream down my face as I type this. It took my mom, Lynne D’Angelo, who died on June 18, 2020, the day before my 33rd birthday. It gave us the opportunity to let no words go unsaid at the end, though as a young caregiver, I’ll always wonder what words we could have exchanged if cancer didn’t steal my best friend from me. The ugly blessing was that this disease showed us how important it is to live a life you’re proud of, to be kind and present, and to show up for others even if your body or spirit is broken - because you’ll need them to show up for you in return. The only comfort I take is in the clarity it gave my mom and me during her six-year journey through treatments. Metastatic breast cancer takes and takes and takes, and there’s no happy ending: A stage four diagnosis means you will die from the disease. The worst part is that according to the nonprofit Metavivor, only 2-5 percent of all funds raised for the research of breast cancer are earmarked for metastatic breast cancer studies. On the other hand, seeing pink-ribbon messages of hope and optimism around being a “warrior” causes me deep sadness, because my mom - and many others I’ve connected with in the metastatic breast cancer community - didn’t have a chance to win her battle against cancer. I feel so proud when someone tells me that they’ve made an appointment with their doctor, thanks to my urging. October is a month full of juxtaposing feelings for me: On one hand, advocating for mammograms and preventative female care is something I’ll speak candidly and frankly about with any woman in my life. I just read Katie’s story about her breast cancer experience, and I’m thrilled she caught it early, but devastated to share that my mom did not. These stories are tragic, moving, and occasionally encouraging - and we hope you’ll be as touched by these as we were. That’s why we compiled additional stories from readers who have helped their nearest and dearest grapple with diagnosis, treatment, and different outcomes. However, we were also aware that firsthand experiences are only part of the picture, because this disease can ravage entire communities. When we published Katie’s essay, we also asked for your survivor stories to show the diversity of breast cancer experiences: We received hundreds of harrowing yet inspiring replies. But the sad truth is, this disease is incredibly common, regardless of family history: 85 percent of the 264,000 American women diagnosed annually have no family history. While she does have a family history of cancer, breast cancer was a new chapter she hadn’t imagined facing. You have good reason to want to use tampons, let your mom know that.Earlier this month, Katie Couric spoke about her recent battle with breast cancer in a heartfelt personal essay. Have a conversation with her, tell her why you want to switch and show her that you're responsible and mature enough and ready to make a decision like this. But I can say that you'll need your mom's support in deciding to use them. I can't say that your mother will do the same and decide to use tampons with you. Now, my mom asks me questions about tampons, for example, how long she should keep them in for and how to hide the string when she's wearing a swimsuit. My mom ended up switching back to pads but felt more at ease with me using tampons. That way she could understand entirely why I wanted to switch, and what it was like to do so. It took a long conversation with her before we decided that we'd both try them. I wanted my mom to feel comfortable with the thought of me using tampons because, one, she was the one who was going to be buying them for me, and two, I needed her support in case I had any questions or issues. Given that my mom, at the age of 50, left the applicator in the first time she used a tampon, you can imagine how hesitant she was. Worrying about my pad leaking onto my pants was enough reason for me to bring up the subject of tampons with my mom. I'd imagine dancing in a pad to be kind of awkward and worrisome.
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